You're a Parent When ... 2002

You know you're the parent of a child with diabetes when ...

  1. You use EMLA on your eyebrows before you tweeze them.
  2. You start spitting out carb counts to adults as soon as they start talking about food.
  3. You reach for measuring cups as serving spoons, even when the child with diabetes isn't home.
  4. "Give me the finger" has a whole new meaning.
  5. You wake in the middle of the night unable to sleep, roll over and gaze at your hunky husband just as the inevitable thought crosses your mind--better go take a quick blood sugar check.
  6. You find yourself arguing with your daughter because she WON'T eat her ice cream before she goes to bed!
  7. Your child learns to count backwards before learning to count forwards--they learn this from watching their meter countdown.
  8. Your child begins to miss their school nurse over spring vacation.
  9. You know when School Nurse's Day is and you observe it.
  10. Sunday night is the designated night to figure out the carb count for next week's school lunch menu.
  11. The only thing worse than a substitute teacher is a substitute school nurse.
  12. Your non D child tells you they are low to get attention, get candy, or to explain misbehaving.
  13. You dont even have to tell the pharmacist what you're there for--she knows as soon as you enter the store.
  14. Last year's science project was "Evaluation of the GlucoWatch Biographer."
  15. You evaluate measuring cups by how well they will work as serving spoons.
  16. You can't remember your child's grades, but can recite the A1c and last three blood glucose values any time.
  17. You automatically wake up at 2:00 a.m.
  18. Your kids say, "Mom, I have to pee. Should I do it in a cup?"
  19. Your child is the only one in school with a note of carb counts taped to their lunch box.
  20. Your child doesn't even bother to pour her cereal into a bowl--she just eats from the measuring cup.
  21. Others can see the sunrise and sunset while you are busy with the syringes.
  22. You have "dead" snacks in many diffrent purses.
  23. You don't go anywhere without the cordless phone or the cell phone, because just as soon as you step out the door or into the shower the school nurse is going to call!
  24. The school's phone number shows up on caller ID and you hope it is the principal and not the school nurse!
  25. You're up at 2:00 a.m. trying to coax your child to drink some chocolate milk to treat a low you immediately wonder how many other CWD parents are up doing the same thing.
  26. Every coat or jacket pocket has a roll of smarties.
  27. Even your child's friends know that it is snack time!
  28. Your kid has one extra dance recital ticket and of all the people in the world to invite, she invites the school nurse.
  29. You know what a pediatric endocrinologist is.
  30. Your car is looking suspicious -- there are too many used needles lying about.
  31. You cringe every time your child gets a birthday invitation. How are you ever going to figure out how many carbs are in the sweets they serve?
  32. You never throw needles in the garbage, but you occasionally forget and throw garbage in the sharps box.
  33. You greet your child after school with "How were your numbers today? Where you high? Where you low? Oh yeah, how was school?"
  34. You can count the carbs in a slice of cake from 50 paces and with one eye shut.
  35. When asked by someone if they can borrow a pen, you reply: "H or NPH?"
  36. Asked what's sexy in a man, you quickly respond, "Good injection technique and a willingness to do 3 a.m. checks."
  37. At a dinner party, you dosn't just reach across the table to cut other's meat; you separate food by groups and counts the carbs as well.
  38. The pharmacist asks you for advice when she's been diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
  39. You thought 2 a.m. feedings were a thing of the past once your child was no longer an infant.
  40. You are more accurate than the chef in measuring out 1 cup of pasta or 2/3 of a cup of rice.
  41. You don't care if he finishes his chicken nuggets, but he can't play on the playground until he eats all his fries.
  42. There are more blood sugar numbers written each day in your daytimer than appointments.
  43. Your teenager thinks that making a happy face on her arm with the marks from all the blood tests is better than a tattoo!
  44. You ask the classmate of your child, who is hanging around at dinner time, "How many carbs do you like?" instead of asking how much pasta he is able to eat.
  45. You cringe when a parent of a non-d child complains about their child's "sugar high" at a birthday party.
  46. You open your email and you have 200+ a day from CWD. These people you have never met but they understand you better than anyone. You have so much in common.
  47. Your dog's favorite toy is an empty test strip bottle!
  48. You jump up from the dinner table to dash after your three old who just ran down the hallway to the bathroom because you have to check his urine for ketones.
  49. You ask the teacher what is going on in class at a certain time each day because your child would rather do a finger stick than be in class.
  50. You are asked why your eight year old is wearing a pager, and then your eight year old starts the education process on the insulin pump.
  51. Your dog has frequent "accidents" and you test her blood sugar!
  52. Your children get into an argument and your non-diabetic child comes and tells you to check his diabetic sibling because "He's cranky and won't listen to me - he MUST be low!"
  53. You make sure your child has plenty of candy in her pocket on field trip day.
  54. You laugh out loud reading this list.
  55. You email your pediatric endocrinologist to tell her/him to post this list in the clinic waiting room.
  56. Your first words to your child every morning is, "What's your number?"
  57. You reach in your purse, grab your tube of lotion and realize you are rubbing cake frosting into your hands.
  58. You buy "No Carb" candy bars and spend hours wrapping them in Easter color paper and stickers for your granddaughter's Easter basket.
  59. Your very thin diabetic daughter orders milk at Wendy's because she is too embarassed to ask for diet soda because she always gets the strange looks. Mom gets the looks too.
  60. There is a suspicious pause at the drive through window after you order a "Happy Meal with a diet soda."
  61. Your "swimming supply checklist" includes a bottle of chocolate syrup and a spoon.
  62. Your child says, "Do I HAVE to take that nasty tasting medicine? Will you ask the doctor if it comes in an injectable form?"
  63. Your pantry consists of one entire shelf devoted to diabetes supplies, one entire shelf devoted to juice boxes, Night Bites, granola bars and peanut butter crackers, and the one remaining shelf haphazardly crammed with everything else the family uses.
  64. You wake up the whole house with the sound of a horrible screem when you accidentally stick your daughter's best friend (at 2:00am) during a slumber party.
  65. You realize the saying "Don't cry over spilt milk" was said by someone who never had to look at that milky puddle and try and guess how many carbs it contains.
  66. Your 4 year old non D child goes food shopping with you and asks how many carbs for eveything in the the supermarket.
  67. You not only find test strips everywhere, but also cotton balls with little cirles of blood on them.
  68. Your newly diagnosed child asks if the communion at church is a free food.
  69. You don't care what your child wears, as long as his meter, poker and glucose fit into the pockets.
  70. Someone asks you how your diabetic child is doing and really means it, and you want to cry because someone cares.
  71. All your lunchbags have the initials CVS.
  72. Your child gets excited and points to the same meter on the pharamacy shelf that he has at home.
  73. You yell for your child to come check his sugar, and everyone comes because they know its meal time.
  74. You've had to plead with your child to finish their chips, and on other days you've had to said no to them when they ask for a piece of fruit.
  75. You spend the afternoon at the counter with your child giving "insulin" to an orange so that they can learn to do it on their own.
  76. "Date night" consists of slipping out without the kids to run to the pharmacy for prescription refills.
  77. Complete strangers come up to your daughter, lift their shirt as high as their waist band and say "Look, I have one too." (meaning a pump, not a belly button!)
  78. You are always shopping for the perfect pocket book, one that can hold all your child's supplies and snacks and still look somewhat stylish (rather than like a small suitcase).
  79. Your 6-year old non-d child goes through the store looking at all her favorite snacks, calling aloud the carbohydrate count on the package, making horror faces and putting them back on the shelf!
  80. You tell them at the food table at a party to "stop eating so many vegetables and eat some cookies" and everyone looks at you like you're crazy.
  81. You have enough food in your supply bag, when you get to the inlaws they think you brought dinner with you because they think "fat free" is the same as sugar free.
  82. While watching interviews on TV, and the person being interviewed is asked, "What three things could you not live without?" your D Child says "I know my Answer! My Meter, My Insulin and Needles" and you cry because you knows it's true.
  83. Your child comes home from school with an invitation to a birthday party and you call the parents and say, "We would love to come."
  84. Your two-year-old asks her grandmother if her inhaler used for asthma is "sugar-free".
  85. Your child is waiting in line to get a soda and you ask him if he's too high, and notice everyone around you is looking at you like you are.
  86. Your newly diagnosed diabetic child wakes during the night to go to the bathroom and is shaking and you're convinced his sugar is dropping and you test him only to find that he is 160 - and then you realize that the air conditioner is on high and your husband is freezing too.
  87. You're having an amorous moment with your mate and you suddenly hear, "Mom, I'm feeling low."
  88. You buy the 'cool and stylish' zebra cell phone case to carry her pump. (It fits perfectly!)
  89. Your diabetic toddler sees an anti-drug commercial on TV and points out that the person needs a shot.
  90. On a camping trip, your child's sleeping bag is optional but the measuring cups are not.
  91. In December, your D child is asked by someone if they're looking forward to Christmas and your child answers, "I'm looking forward to a cure."
  92. Your non-d baby's favorite rattle is three coins in an old strip canister.
  93. Even though your child is thin you have a shopping cart full of lean cuisine and diet pop and the cashier looks at you like you are starving your child.
  94. Every meal turns into a math equation.
  95. Your child needs an upper GI test and you ask how many carbohydrates are in barium.
  96. You're at a birthday party and the cake is being handed out and your D child says "It doesn't look good enough for a shot."
  97. Your child falls and before you ask if they're okay you ask, "How's your pump site?"
  98. Your two diabetic teens compete for the lowest (best?) BG without going low, and since both of them are math experts, you ask "What's your blood sugar?" and they answer "take my age, add 100, divide by 2, subtract 27, multiply 50, ...," which really means "I'm going to the kitchen for a snack and stalling for time so you don't kill me."
  99. Your 8 year old child pleads for a surgery that will take diabetes away and asks you every six months if she'll have diabetes forever.
  100. You correct the numbers in the carb counting book.
  101. Your diabetic and non-diabetic children get into an argument and the non-diabetic says, "Check your blood sugar!", which only eggs the diabetic on.
  102. Your child with diabetes says, "Mom, can we go to the movies? I'll take extra insulin."
  103. Your three year old child already knows his two and three digit numbers from reading his glucose meter.
  104. You check the diaper bag three times before you go anywhere and find that you leave with enough snacks to feed an army but no diapers!
  105. You have a baby monitor for a 17 year old
  106. Your plan for the day is based on when your diabetic child eats breakfast -- if it's too late, it can mess up the schedule for the entire day!
  107. Your three-year-old child, non d, is leafing through a diabetes magazine, spots the Animas ad, and says, "Oh, look, a pump!"
  108. Your child's sheets have "polka dots" from nighttime blood sugar checks
  109. Your diabetic daughter is visiting the dentist for her yearly cleaning you ask how many carbs are in the fluoride and it sends everyone searching
  110. The two things you fear the most are field trips and sleep overs
  111. You base all your holiday candy choices on whether or not the bag has carbohydrate counts on it
  112. You write the carbohydrate count on every little piece of candy in your child's Christmas stocking and tell him Santa did it!

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Last Updated: Sun Feb 25 15:40:56 2007
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